


The Echo of Your Absence

by Whenthereisawill



Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Romance, Sadness, Separations, Sexual Content, Tears, Tragedy, Willpain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:43:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whenthereisawill/pseuds/Whenthereisawill
Summary: The kingdom of Araluen is in terror and chaos, and King Duncan's army is fighting against an unbeatable army. Will realizes that country is no longer safe for Alyss and their unborn child, and he makes a very difficult decision to protect her.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a long fic, and i'm a pretty novice writer so please bear with me. But I love the idea, it was inspired by the Outlander book series, and I think i wont let it go any time soon.

Riding into the clearing and catching sight of the cozy cabin in the woods, Alyss could not keep the smile from spreading across her face. She felt the natural sense of safety one feels when they return home. It was not because of the cabin itself, but because of the person inside.

It was a beautiful, clear, sunny day, a rare thing in that part of the country, and Alyss enjoyed every bit of it. She had been residing in her apartment at Redmont Castle for the past week, for Will had gone on a mission, and she disliked being home alone for a long period of time. When she wasn't cooped up in meetings and running errands for the Diplomatic Service, she was in the village or outdoors. She had payed her dear friend Jenny a visit and spent the whole day catching up on old times with her good friend. She had also taken time to go to the market. She didn't buy much-aside from a small gift for Will, but enjoyed the buzz of activity all around her. It was an enjoyable week, but after a while she missed the company of her Ranger and eagerly awaited for his return. And he was finally back.

Approaching the stables, she heard a soft nicker before riding inside. Tug raised his head, the hay sticking out of his mouth quickly disappearing. Alyss set her steed into the stall beside his, and he glanced at her sideways as she dismounted. She smiled and patted his muzzle fondly.

  
"Hullo, boy." She had adopted the habit of talking to the horse from her husband. "Would you like an apple?" She smirked when his ears pricked up. She reached in her packsaddle and pulled out two red apples, giving one to each horse. "Don't tell Will," she whispered to Tug.   
Your secret is safe with me, he seemed to reply, munching contently.

  
After caring for her horse, the courier stepped onto the veranda and reached out to open the front door, but before her hand could touch the handle the door swung open. Will's smiling face appeared in the doorway.

  
She felt her heart lighten instantly. It had been a long week without him.

  
"I was just thinking about you,” was the first thing he said to her, and she couldn't help but smile.

He hadn't changed much at all since the last time she saw him, it had only been a week after all. She did notice his facial hair had grown thicker, it was no longer just a unshaven shadow but it was not yet a beard. Just the way she loved it.

"Hullo, darling," she replied softly, walking inside as Will moved aside to let her in. She breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of pine, coffee, and flowers from the ever present vase above the fireplace. It smelled like home.

She felt strong arms wrap around her from behind, and she melted into the embrace, enjoying the warm squeeze they gave her.

“Answer me honestly,” the voice behind her spoke softly into her ear, “How much did you miss me?”

“Miss you?” Alyss scoffed. “It's only been a week, Will.” She felt him shrug.

“Nine days, to be exact.” She rolled her eyes.

“Honestly,” Alyss turned to him, putting her arms around his waist. Facing her, Will saw how hard she was trying to hide her smile. “I didn't miss you very much.” She lied.

He gave her a small pout. “How foreseeably cold of you.” Her mouth opened in offence. He grinned and put his own arms around her waist. “I, on the other hand, haven't stopped missing you since the moment I left you.”

“Nine whole days ago,” he added after a moment.

“You are absolutely ridiculous,” Alyss laughed softly, leaning forward to give him a lingering kiss on his cheek. It was rough and stubbly, but she nonetheless pressed her own cheek to his, keeping him as close to her as she could. She realized that the moment before, when she had first walked inside, it wasn't the cabin that smelled of pine, coffee and flowers, but it was Will. He was home.  
  
Late that night, after taking a bath and changing her clothes, Alyss walked into the living room to see Will standing by the table. Stopping by the kitchenette to pour out two cups of coffee from the steaming pot on the fire, she went to stand by his side and placed mugs of dark liquid alongside the disarray of letters and reports her husband was poring over. Glancing at the side of his face, she could see that the words he was reading were not pleasant.

  
"I made some coffee for you," she said, gesturing to the steaming cup in front of him.

  
"Hmm." He didn't look up.

  
"Would you like some honey with that?" She watched for his reaction.

  
A few seconds later. "Hmm?"

  
This was important business, Alyss realized. Will didn't often speak absently, only when he had a lot on his mind. And only if it was serious.

  
"What is all this?" she asked, looking to the paper he was reading. She thought it was a good idea to be informed about this serious matter. If it concerned a Ranger, then there was a good chance it would concern a Courier.

  
After a few moments, the Ranger looked up at her. "You know about the attacks up North?" She nodded. "Well, it's gotten much worse."

  
For the past month, there had been violent attacks on the northern villages and fiefs. Houses were burned down, men were slaughtered, and women and children were kidnapped. King Duncan had sent out an alert to all Barons and Lords to mobilize their soldiers, and Rangers were sent to try to fix the situation. No one knew of this mysterious terrorist group or where they came from. (what rules out the Scotti?)

  
"What's happened now?" Alyss asked. Will sighed again.

  
"Baron Ergel is dead. They've killed him." Alyss's widened. "And Norgate village is in ruins," he continued grimly. "There is chaos up North and no one can control it."

  
"My God."

  
"It looks like these people are trying to start a war." Will shook his head, "How could we not see this coming?"

  
Alyss felt a cold hand around her heart. War. She had been part of one, only two years previously in Nihon-Ja. She had been fearless and strong-willed during the battles. She had made herself useful and played a pivotal role in bringing their side to victory. She wasn't afraid of war. But this time it was different.

  
"This means you'll get called away, doesn't it?" If this was war, then the King would need his best men in the field. Will was the best man, she knew.

  
Will nodded. "I'm going in for a meeting with Duncan sometime this week, along with Halt."

  
Alyss closed her eyes briefly. "But I need you here, Will."

  
Will turned to her quickly. For the first time he noticed how upset she was. He was surprised. She doesn't usually get fearful about such things. He put his hands on her arms and turned her towards him gently, looking into her eyes.

  
"Don't worry," he smiled. "We'll get through this. Like we always do."

  
To reassure her further he added, "And maybe this mysterious army will be taken care of before a war even starts."

  
Alyss pulled away and shook her head. It didn't seem likely.

  
"Something has happened, Will."

  
"What's wrong? What happened?" His eyes narrowed. Suddenly he felt an uneasy twinge of fear.

  
She stepped back to him and placed her hands on his chest.

  
"I'm with child, Will." Her fingers curled into his shirt, as her hands turned to fists. "And I need you to be here with me, safe and alive. To be there for your child. But-but if there is war… and those bloody invaders…" She looked up into his eyes and shook her head. "This is different from everything else, Will."

  
Will was staring at her, stunned. Only her first words had processed in his mind. His voice came came out strangled. "You're with—"

  
Alyss thumped her fists on his chest, stopping him from speaking. "Yes! But, Will, how could we—?" This time he stopped her from speaking by kissing her deeply. He put his arms around her and held her until he felt her body relax. When he pulled away, he reached up to stroke her cheek.

  
"We will get through this," he whispered. But the sincerity of his words didn't soothe the panic in her heart.

  
"But, Will, listen to me—" He hushed her again, and she felt frustration build up inside her.

  
"Whatever happens, Alyss," he said calmly, gazing into her glaring eyes, "whatever happens, I promise you, we can get through it. I won't let anything happen to you. I'll keep you safe." He brought his hand to cup her face. "Both of you. I swear it."

  
He leaned forward to press his lips on her’s firmly. "We've gone through crazy things in the past," he whispered against her lips, then kissed her again. "And damn it, we will get through this as well." He said the words with such ferocity that Alyss was stunned silent.

  
And slowly, the panic and fear melted away. She trusted him. She always had. She realized how much she was overreacting and couldn't help but feel slightly shameful. Her emotions were heightened because of her pregnancy, and she promised herself never to let them get the best of her again.

  
She brought her hand up to cover Will's. "Okay," she said, giving him a small smile.

  
Finally the great, powerful, life changing news that Alyss had just shared with him, hit Will like a bull.

  
"A baby," he whispered. His eyes went wide as his mind wrapped around it. She laughed softly at his dumbstruck expression and put her arms around him.

  
"Yes," she said. "Our baby."

  
He just shook his head, eyes still wide open.

  
"Are you happy?" She asked, suddenly doubtful when she saw his unemotional expression.   
At the question Will's eyes snapped to look at her. His expression softened and he smiled.

  
"I don't think I've ever been happier," he confessed. He pulled her tight into his embrace and kissed her forehead and hair and her cheeks and she felt the peace and safety that only his arms could give to her.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1! Everything is starting to go downhill from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to the people (whoever you are) who waited so long. This was a struggle.

**Chapter 1**

Night had fallen as Will trudged through the rows of tents and fireplaces, heading for his own. With the approaching darkness came a biting chill that could no longer be fought back by the sunlight. He shivered and brought his cloak tighter around him, quickening his pace. As he was passing a circle of soldiers huddling around a flickering fire, one of the them waved to him.

"Sir!" The man called out, his face splitting in a wide, toothy grin. James was his name, Will remembered. "Come join us! Warm yerself with some whiskey." He raised a leather flask to him. The other men around the fire voiced loud agreement, beckoning for him to join them.

"Not tonight, men." Will said, trying to sound regretful. But it was what he said every time someone invited him to drink. He was never someone who indulged in alcohol or spirits of any kind. Especially not now.

"Aww come on, m'lord. Just one drink." Another man called out, his voice slurred. Will's eyes narrowed.

"I don't think so." Then he spoke sternly. "And I highly suggest you  _all_  put your flasks down for the night. We will be leaving camp tomorrow, and I need all of you men packed and ready to go."

The men's smiles faded. Although Will was probably younger than most of them, he was their high officer and they had no choice but to obey.

"Yes sir." One of the men said reluctantly. The other men mumbled along with him. Will sighed and shook his head. He didn't have time this.

"Save the drink for when we win." He said in a gentler tone. Some of the men noticed and smiled back at him.

"Thank you, sire!" They called out behind him as he walked on.

For months, Halt and Alyss and himself, along with two of Redmont's best BattleMasters, had traveled to all the neighboring fiefs, villages and settlements around Redmont Castle, collecting strong and willing men to fight for their country against the growing threat of their powerful and mysterious enemy. It had been easy convincing people to join them, for the country was in turmoil, and anyone was blind not to see it.

In just two months, three of the fiefs in the North of Araluen had been attacked, defeated, and dismantled. The Barons had disappeared - either killed or captured, no one knew - and all other had fled. The villages around them were burned to the ground, and the people who didn't escape, were slaughtered mercilessly. Every man, woman, and child. The Rangers and local authorities were overwhelmed by the sheer number and chaos of it all. But by that time, King Duncan was already mantling his army. It was war.

So of course, when Will came to the civilians of Wensely and Dreyden village, telling the civilians the devastating stories of the North and appealing to them to fight, the men followed him without hesitation, making sure to leave some behind to defend their families against any of the common ambushes their enemy launched.

Several weeks earlier, Halt had left for Whitby - where the main army was stationed- to be King Duncan's head tactician, as his Majesty requested, leaving Will in charge of the men. He had become the prominent leader of close to five hundred men. And they knew five hundred of those men were untrained and unfit for battle. So for the past nine weeks, Will and the Battlemasters spent long days training and conditioning them into straight-backed soldiers.

It was the end of one of those hard days. Usually the heaviness of his heart would be lifted when he went to back to his tent, for always waiting for him was the warm comfort of his wife's arms. In her presence, and the growing baby's, he would have a brief moment of tranquility. A pause from the constant anxiety of impending danger that loomed over him and his men.

Coming out of the rows of pitched tents, Will headed for the tiny cabin that stood a few feet away. It was where Alyss and himself had spent their nights those past weeks. The other officers had agreed that since Alyss was expecting, she should get the most comfortable living situations, away from the stink and potential sickness outside.

Will opened the door and stepped inside. The fire was burning steadily in the fireplace, keeping the whole cabin warm. It was less of a cabin and more of a shack; it was very small. It was just a room, with the fireplace in the corner, a chair beside it, a bed across from it that fit him and his wife, and a wooden barrel they used as a side table. He looked to the bed, and he saw Alyss's sleeping form under the blankets. Her body lifted up and down slightly from deep breathing, and Will felt a comfort from it.

_At least she is alive and okay._ He thought grimly.

He slipped off his cloak and went to hang it on a chair beside him, but it slipped from his fingers and fell on the ground. Sighing, he reached down to pick it up, then stopped. It was the first time he noticed that his hands were shaking. All the grief that he experienced throughout day, hit him all at once in that moment. It was undeniably worst day of his life. There was nothing else to say about it.

He closed his eyes, and willed his hands -in vain-to relax. He felt a wave of panic bubbling up inside him, and it took all of him to keep it restrained. He opened his eyes and straightened up, leaving the cloak where it was. He crossed the space quickly and sat himself down gently beside Alyss. He needed to be next to her.

Alyss had been a vital part of the expedition, sending reports to the King of their progress, and appealing to any Lord that was less cooperative in handing over men for their war. She had an uncanny way of convincing people to do her bidding. But after the second month of hard travel and work, Alyss' health and energy dwindle. And in the past days she spent more time in bed than with Will and the rest of the commanding officers.

Will gazed at her for a long time, studying her peaceful face. Her long lashes, her soft lips, her silky hair. The sharp lines of her jaw and cheekbones had softened from pregnancy, and he reached out to stroke her cheek gently.

When he touched her his shaking stopped. He reached underneath the sheets that covered her, and placed his hand on her swollen abdomen. Just a few days ago, she had grabbed his hand and brought it to that exact spot, gasping that she felt the baby kick. And after a moment of guided pressing and rubbing, he had gasped because he felt it too.

Will gently moving his hand in a soothing back and forth motion. He silently willed for her to wake up and talk to him. And as if she could read his thoughts, a few moments she did. Her body stretched out, and she scrunched her nose as she always did when she was waking up. Will watched quietly, keeping his hand on her gently as she blinked her eyes open. She looked around, briefly confused from sleep, then finally locked eyes with his. She smiled up at him softly, and for the briefest of moments, he forgot all about the world around them. He was lost in her beauty and the warmth of her love, and in that moment it felt like everything might to be alright.

But the moment was gone in an instant. For her smile had turned into a frown.

"What's wrong, Will?" Her voice was soft and slightly raspy from sleep, but full of concern.

Will was taken aback by how easily she was aware of his troubled heart.  _Am I really that transparent?_

"Has there been another attack?" She asked, sitting up straighter and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The expression on his face told her there was something really wrong. His eyes read sadness and fear, but he said nothing.

"What the hell happened, Will?" His silence scared her. After months of trail and struggle, he had kept them both sane with his stolidness. And it seemed like all of that was breaking down. "Talk to me darling."

Finally he spoke, when he could trust himself to open his mouth without choking or sobbing.

"Halt came back today, and brought some information with him." His voice was attempting to be conversational, and for a moment she thought maybe nothing terrible had actually happened. "King Duncan doesn't have a choice anymore. He can't wait. He needs us to join with the rest of the troops in Whitby. He wants us to advance towards the enemy."

Alyss's jaw tightened.

"My men aren't ready." He said grimly, shaking his head. "And neither is the rest of this bloody army. If we fight now we will die."

The invaders were not just vicious murders who killed mindlessly. They were a massive, disciplined army. They had taken over the fallen fiefs, and gained full control. They not only outnumbered the Araluens, but they had far more advanced and dangerous weaponry. Large and powerful; they were instruments that had never been seen before. This was a war they could not win.

Alyss felt her heart sink. She had always known, just like everyone, that the war was a lost cause. How could they win a war against an enemy that would stop at nothing to conquer?

"So what do we do, Will?" She asked. She wrapped her arms around her middle; hugging her unborn baby. What did this been for it? How could she keep it safe?

Will thought of how ironic it was that Alyss has so much faith in him to make things right that he almost let out a bitter smile.  _How disappointed she will be._

"Halt also brought this." He said, pulling out a folded paper from a pocket inside his shirt. He handed it to her. "It's for you. He has a way to help."

She took it from him, looking at him curiously. His eyes were cast down and his hand was rubbing the back of his neck, his face impassive. She ripped the paper open and read:

_Uncle,_

_I have received word of the terrible situation in Araluen, and you have my aid. I have dispatched 700 of my men from Clonmel to stand by King Duncan's side for your fight against the Invaders. I've sent a separate letter to the King directly regarding the details to those matters._

_In regards to the other issue, I am more than happy to take Lady Mainwaring into my care. I can't imagine how difficult it must be, bearing a child while being in constant fear of being killed at any moment. I will do everything I can, uncle, to make sure the Lady is brought safely. I have already ordered for ships to be sent out to the shores of Araluen, to take any refugees seeking safety from the invaders. I suggest she boards one of those vessels. From there, I will handle any obstacle that might come her way. -_

There was more written but Alyss stopped reading and looked up, horrified.

"What the hell is this?" Her voice had rose to a pitch. She threw the letter down, as if it was covered with disease. "You're sending me away?  _To Hibernia?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Please comment to let me know what you thought.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry this took so long but...writing is hard. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. 
> 
> Beware: Its sad as hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has sexual content, so if your not about that life just don't read past the horizontal line. Everything above that is PG rated. But I will just say...I worked hard on that smut LOL.

Will swallowed. His mind screamed at him to stop talking. To shut his mouth, take back his words and rip up the letter. He wanted to blurt out that it was just a joke and he didn't mean any of it. He wanted to erase everything and continue on, and leave Alyss blissfully ignorant.

But her piercing grey eyes were boring into his skull, waiting for an answer, and he could feel the anger and shock in her stare. He sighed heavily, grabbing the chair next to the bed and sat on it so that he was across from her. He rested his elbows on his knees and his face fell into his hands. He racked his brain desperately to find a way to make it easier to tell her, without upsetting her. But he knew that it was impossible. He rubbed his face wearily, then pulled his hands away and finally spoke, defeated.

"Halt sent a letter to King Sean, his nephew, and told him of the situation in Araluen," he started, not daring to look her in the eyes. "And then...he told him about you, and how you were with child, and how Araluen was getting too dangerous and there was nowhere for you to go. He asked Sean to take you into his care if things got out of hand here. It looks like he agreed." Will finally looked up at her.

Alyss was staring at him with a blank expression, her emotions unreadable. His throat went dry and he swallowed again. She glanced at the discarded letter on the bed, then back at him, her eyes narrowing. It was as if she couldn't fully comprehend what he had just told her.

"D-Did you know about this?" Her voice was shaking. Will wasn't sure if it was from anger or shock.

"I had no idea, I swear. He told me today."

She looked at him in disbelief. "But...you... _D-did you agree to this_?"

Will bit the inside of his lip. His brain was yelling at him again. _Just say no! Say NO!_

"Yes."

That was when Alyss's emotions surfaced. _She feels like I betrayed her_. Will's heart sunk. Her lips were trying to form words, but no sounds came out. He spoke before she got a chance.

"Alyss, just listen." He scooted his seat closer, meeting her accusing eyes with his sincere ones. "Halt is right. This is the only way to keep you safe. And...I-I should have thought of it sooner. We always rejected the idea of you leaving because you were always better off here. In Araluen. With me. But we can't keep ignoring the fact that that's not true. It's not safe here. It never was." He had reached forward and taken her hands, but they stayed limp in his hold.

"The war has begun and I have to go into battle with the soldiers. The men we gathered and trained for weeks...I-I can't leave them. There is not an inch of this country that is secure anymore. But... Hibernia is. If you go there, at least you'll be protected by the King. You can-" Alyss interrupted, snatching her hands away from him.

"No." She scooted away from him, pushing the bed covers roughly to the side. "No, no, no... _Hell no_."

Will closed his eyes and stifled a groan, utterly crestfallen. For a moment he thought it would be easy. _Why did I think that?_

"Alyss, if you would just-"

" _No_." Her words dripped venom. Her lip trembled with barely-contained rage and her glare was blazing fire. "Damn Halt. Damn him for going behind our backs and making this plan to... _to rip apart our family_."

Will opened his mouth to defend his master, but clamped it shut when she turned on him viciously, raining her ire down on him.

"And damn you, Will Treaty. _Damn you_! Damn you to hell for agreeing to all of this. You agreed without telling me, _you bastard_!

"You swore to me." She came close and jabbed her finger into his chest, accusing and unforgiving, making him wince. "You swore that we would get through all of this together. You said that whatever happened, we would figure it out. _Together_. Did you forget that? This, sending me away...getting rid of me! This isn't what you promised me."

Her anger made her stutter, but her tone wasn't any less frightening. She jabbed at his chest again, harder. "You lied to me. You- _you liar!_ "

Her last words punctured his heart like a barbed arrow, sticking to him and choking him up. They struck him more painful than her forceful jabs. He looked up into her eyes and saw the fury and betrayal in them and he knew that she saw the pain and anguish in his. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but she didn't allow him.

"I will go into battle and fight with you." Her voice was low and her tone was final. When he started shaking his head she snapped at him viciously. " _Yes. I. Will._ "

"And if you die in this hopeless bloody war, _I will die with you_."

In that moment, Alyss wasn't thinking straight. Her stomach was hurting with trepidation and her mind was muddled with fury. She clenched her fists, clutching the bedsheets,making herself into a solid wall that couldn't be moved. Will couldn't make her leave. There was nothing in the world that would make her leave his side now. She could see his clenched jaw, and his struggle to keep from yelling in frustration.

 _Let him scream_ , she thought, _I'll scream louder_.

"I don't want you to go, Alyss," said Will through gritted teeth. "But it isn't just about you and me anymore. It's about our child. You have to think about it...it's future."

_Their child. The baby._

She had forgotten. But her brain wouldn't let her stop to think about it.

"I don't care about the child!" she snarled. Alarm bells shrieked in the back of her mind the moment she said the words, and the wall she had created started to crack.

Will flinched at her words, horrified, his eyes filling with tears. "Don't say that. _God_ , Alyss...don't say that!"

The wall shook, threatening to fall apart.

"I don't." She whispered. "I…"

But before Will could even say anything, the wall crumbled. Because, of course Alyss cared about her child. Her expression flipped drastically from anger to anguish in just a few seconds, and she hung her head. She wrapping her arms around her stomach - around her unborn baby. As her hands were pressed to it, she could feel it's small kicking. Guilt washed over her and she covered her mouth to hold back a sob.

Without ever seeing it's face, or hearing it breathe, or feeling its skin, she loved it with every beat of her heart. And Will knew this. It was the only reason why he was doing all of this.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice trembling. Will went onto his knees at the foot of the bed, resting his elbows on the bed and took her cold hands. He said nothing but pressed his lips to them gingerly, warming them. He had already forgiven her.

But now Alyss's wall was broken, and she knew that everything Will told her was the truth.

_She had to leave._

Will reached up to smooth back her hair and wipe the lone tear that fell onto her cheek. He stretched up to kiss her forehead, his hands going into her hair. He saw the misery that washed over her, the same feeling that he had been drowning in since he walked into the small cabin. She held onto his arms, melting into him. She whispered something, so soft that he had to move his ear closer to her and ask her gently to repeat it.

"Come with me."

Will pulled away, holding her face tenderly and stroking her cheek with his thumb. She saw the despair in his eyes, and the tears that filled them. He shook his head, slow and full of regret.

"I can't."

Her jaw clenched, fighting to hold back a sob. "Why?"

"You know why." She did. And she knew that she had to accept it. _But Will..._

"I can't leave you."

"You must."

"But you'll die."

"But you will live. And so will our child."

Alyss was no longer holding back her tears. The salty droplets fell onto Will's hands, but he made no move to wipe them away. She wrapped a hand around his wrist and pushed her cheek into his palm, closing her eyes.

"But, Will," her voice was a soft croak. "How will I live without…?" She bit her lip and her voice trailed off when she lost control of her emotions.

But her question was an important one. _How will I live without you?_

He hung his head, his forehead resting on her stomach. As if in response to his touch, he felt the baby tapped against him lightly. Will jerked back in surprise and stared at that point of Alyss's stomach. He glanced up at her face, knowing she felt it too.

He sat back, looking at her from afar. He drank in her tearstained face, her bloodshot eyes, her trembling lips. Her shift had slipped off her shoulder, leaving it bare except for her sleep-curled hair that fell across it. She had tucked her legs underneath her, and when he had pulled away from her, she had wrapped her arms around her baby bump, making her look smaller and more vulnerable than she was. Her grey eyes didn't break away from his, and the tears that fell freely from them left glistening patterns on her cheek,illuminated by the firelight.

She reminded Will of a ethereal goddess; so unworldly, and so breathtakingly beautiful. From his place on the ground, he had to look up as she stared down at him. _If I came upon her in some forest_ , _I would worship her without hesitation,_ he thought.

He rose to knees slowly, drawing back to her. He bowed his head, pressing his lips to the slope of her stomach and staying that way for a few moments, sending love to his child the only way he could think of. Then he wrapped his arms around her and lifted his head, tilting it upwards to meet her awaiting lips. His kiss was deep and burning with passion, igniting them both.

"I'm sorry," he breathed raggedly between kisses. "I'm so sorry."

He clutched onto her, afraid that if he let go she would disappear. She kissed him back with a visceral hunger and gripped him just as tightly, her tears mingling with his as they flowed down his face like a waterfall.

A question that hadn't occurred to her suddenly popped into her mind, and she pulled away from him. Will moaned at the sudden loss of contact, longingly following her lips with his eyes, but she put a hand on his shoulder to keep him back.

"When?" She asked softly, her voice trembling. She held her breath, terrified about what the answer would be.

 _When is the expiration date?_ she thought, bitterly. _When is our time's up?_

She didn't think he could look any more sorrowful, but when she saw the expression that crossed his face, her heart sank at how wrong she was. She gripped his hand tightly, and he shut his eyes, hanging his head once more. When she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper.

"Tell me."

He looked into her eyes, the tears leaving trails down his face.

_"Tomorrow."_

* * *

That night, beneath the press of his body, Alyss couldn't keep still. The feel of his skin rubbing pleasurably against hers was too much to deny, and her limbs moved over him, bringing more of the sweet friction. Her hands explored his arms, back and hips. Her legs ran up and down the length of his. And all the while her body was explored in turn, fingers, lips and tongue tracing over her skin, eliciting shivers and moans and whimpers that sometimes sent him careening back to her mouth to drink greedily all of the noises she emitted and to kiss all the tears that spilled from her lust-glazed eyes.

One well toned arm slipped lower, and a cool palm rested against the fevered skin of her inner thigh, its gentle nudge requesting access to places not yet explored. From behind closed lids, Alyss' eyes rolled back and she shifted her legs. Will's weight slid between her thighs, as a pressure she did not have to see to identify made itself known against her.

" _Yes_." It was a hiss, a whisper, a prayer. He was her personal star; her broken god. Who better to pray to than him?

The palm at her thigh moved to cup her mound, one finger carefully pushing into her folds; searching amidst the tender flesh. At her ear, Will's breath was ragged and uneven. His touch left trails of electric tingles in its wake, and when at last he found her access, she pressed her hand against his, pushing the finger into her, showing him the way.

She heard his broken gasp by her ear, and his fingers pushed against her ardently, trying to help give him access to the deepest parts of her core. The throbbing pressure at her hip reacted in turn, becoming uncomfortably rigid between their bodies.

The hand on top of Will's slid over to the source of her discomfort, thick and hot against her palm. The breath at her ear stopped completely, and he removed his hand from her core obediently. Slender fingers took hold of him, guiding the hand towards the place that ached to have him delve and claim-

" _Alyss_ ," her name was that same throaty croak it had been in that tower at Macindaw; raw and pleading. For as long as she lived, no matter what happened tomorrow, Alyss would never forget the way her name sounded on Will's lips this night.

She placed the velvety tip at her entrance and Will groaned, his lips pulling at the skin beneath her ear, his tongue stroking the fragile skin as it had her lip.

Alyss moved her hands to his flanks and spread her thighs wide, making it clear that nothing held him back from her but his own restraint.

She remembered him being afraid to touch her after she was pregnant; he had feared that he would hurt the child during the process. That fear was now long forgotten.

"Alyss," he whispered and she opened her eyes to see his face above hers. Brown eyes stared back at her. His expression was unguarded and tender, but she could see the sorrow in them.

It would be the last time.

The firmness at her entrance bore down, and Alyss felt her insides stretch and fill; a place hidden deep within her thrumming wildly when his manhood struck it fully. Alyss cried out and watched Will's eyes glaze and his lips part slightly; it was clear that whatever place had just struck such an accord with Alyss had the same powerful effect on him as well.

Will's hips began to move, driving himself deep into her with slow, rhythmic movements, finding with each stroke that place within her that had them both panting and holding tightly to one another. Will's mouth returned to hers, claiming her tongue with a sweep of his own.

Gentle hands went beneath her body, gripping her bottom and pulling it to him with every thrust of his hips, but always mindful of her swollen stomach. Alyss bucked her hips into him in kind. She needed to have him completely. She needed him to be as far within her as possible. Her hand pressed down on the back of his neck, deepening their kiss into something needful and covetous and desperate.

The speed of their combined efforts steadily increased, until Will was gasping and Alyss whimpering from beneath their bruised and battered lips. No longer gentle or cautions, he drove himself into her desperately, moaning her name between other inarticulate sounds.

Alyss' lips moved from her lover's kiss to his throat, drawing flesh gently between her teeth and leaving red blotches in her wake. The hiss above her, and the hand that reached up to cradle her head only encouraged her boldness. She allowed her teeth to go a little harder against his skin, hearing Will moan his appreciation. They were marks for him to remember when she was gone.

Her sensitivity only increasing at the friction of their actions, Alyss's insides tightened around him, drawing the pleasure closer and closer to the surface. She could feel it swelling within her, like a bomb ready to self destruct. Her mouth ceased to travel along the shaft of his throat, his skin forgotten between her teeth until her walls constricted around his hardness in a forceful spasm and she was tossing her head back, crying out her ecstasy to the heavens above.

And Will surged within her, his release heating her inner walls, wave after wave as he bruised her back and buttock in his steel-trap grip. The force of his final thrust struck that sensitive place within her almost painfully, Will's voice breaking from his throat as he lost himself to the passion that consumed him completely.

Alyss' body grew limp and heavy, and it took an enormous effort to enfold her lover's shoulders within her arms. Will's body fell partially on top of her - off of her stomach, trembling. He nestled his head against her ear. Slowly, Alyss lifted a hand to his head, drawing her fingers through locks of soft brown.

She didn't stop the sob from escaping her throat. The consuming pleasure had all faded away, leaving her crippled with despair.

It was the last time. The last time they would hold each other in the wee hours of the night. The last time they would move together in a dance only they knew. The last time he would leave her breathless and trembling by his touch. The last time she would hear the melody of his moans when her mouth explored him.

_The last time._

When he heard, Will's trembling stopped and he slowly pulled his face away from her neck to look at her. He shifted so that they were facing each other, one hand coming up to cup her face and the other rested tenderly on her stomach. Their eyes were fixed on the other's face, memorizing every detail and imprinting the image into their mind. They didn't dare to utter a word and they just watched as the tears dripped soundlessly down their cheeks. They stayed silent in the still night.

But for them, the night was not peaceful nor quiet.

Because Will and Alyss could both hear it as they lay in bed gazing only into each other's eyes. The din swirled around them like a vicious hurricane, and they both knew what it was.

It was the _keening, ear splitting, deafening_ sound of their hearts breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


End file.
